Some feedback that I received from my previous elevator pitch was to focus more on my closing. This was something that I was aware of, and I am glad that my peer pointed it out to me. In this pitch #2 I focused on improving that aspect. I was glad to hear that my peer found my wording to be concise and that my hook in the beginning was strong. The feedback that I got was very insightful and information that I have incorporated in this most recent take.
Thursday, March 19, 2020
17A Elevator Pitch #2
Some feedback that I received from my previous elevator pitch was to focus more on my closing. This was something that I was aware of, and I am glad that my peer pointed it out to me. In this pitch #2 I focused on improving that aspect. I was glad to hear that my peer found my wording to be concise and that my hook in the beginning was strong. The feedback that I got was very insightful and information that I have incorporated in this most recent take.
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Hi Elizabeth! Good job! First of all, You asked a question while showing your phone, which grabs people's attention. Secondly, you mentioned the problem clearly at the beginning so that's also a good part. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHey Elizabeth, nice job! I think that your delivery seemed very natural, almost like you were having a real conversation with someone. I think that you are correct that there are people that have this problem in common with you, but I'm not sure that there would be enough of a market to sustain a business that would have to pay rent and pay it's employees. I do not think that people that have a car will want to walk to the Reitz Union to get their phones repaired. I think that you could improve your business idea by having a cell phone repair service that comes to people! This would allow you to bypass the cost of rent, and might enable you to target students that have cars as well. Just a thought, I am sure you are more familiar with this problem than I, but this is just how I think that about this problem. Nice post!
ReplyDeleteHey Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteI really like your intro in your pitch. The fact that you can relate to your chosen opportunity makes you seem a lot more authentic and it also shows how well you understand the unmet needs in your target market. The only thing I would suggest is to include a statistic related to phone breakages or repairs to further illustrate your logical reasoning. Great pitch!